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I prefer the term "Non-workforce Project Manager" but I mostly answer to Mom or "Hey you!"

Thursday, October 6, 2011

So today the Bloodhound Gang gave me an anxiety attack

Today was our very first real 'wintery' kind of day... rain and all that jazz.  

OMG! Side note! This morning Derek (a co-inhibitor of our hippie commune) wanted to walk the girls to school. Normally this is what we do, we walk the girls 4 blocks away to their really bitchin pre-school with a neighbor *Chris* who's daughter Sophia is in Delilah and Marilyn's class. Well I guess it's normally just me since Trevor and Derek work and Shirley is in nursing school but whatever :) 

ANYWAY! Derek wanted to walk, I said "Uhhh, it's raining" but Derek was having none of that and said that it wasn't raining right then so it was cool. Fast forward about 30 seconds and it's a TORRENTIAL DOWNPOUR! HA! We get the girls ready for school and they go out front to play with their umbrellas in the quasi rain that is happening through the sun screen tarpy thing... when who should appear?! Chris! With Sophia and his little baby Amelia. Chris is wearing a rain slicker and the girls are in a stroller with a huge umbrella. Chris asked Derek if we were walking and I said "HELL no!" But I think Derek was shamed into it so he plopped the girls into their double stroller, gave them their umbrellas and said he was going to walk. In the rain. In shorts. With no umbrella or jacket. I was laughing for at least 10 minutes after they left. And yes, he came home and said he would drive to get the girls.

End of side note.

Back to our first wintery day!

So I wanted to go see Trevor during his lunch time, since I was on my way to go see my friend Kim up in Roseville at her store (Children's Orchard) to look for rain jackets for my kids cause I'm a bad (broke) mom who doesn't buy my kids the essentials. *SIGH* Whatever. I'm driving along listening to the Bloodhound Gang (Which Delilah did NOT approve of BTW) when it happens. I do it a lot... I'm sitting there, in this instance, listening to a song I really like when I start to daydream. It starts innocent enough... I'm at a karaoke bar singing whatever song I'm currently rocking out to then BAM!!!!! It goes bad :( All of a sudden I'm SINGING AT A KARAOKE BAR! EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT ME! OMG I'M GOING TO DIEEEE!

Heart races

Stomach clenches

Face and neck get clammy

To get out of such an episode I have to do the same thing I do at night when I wake up and realize TREVOR LEFT THE FUCKING CLOSET OPEN AND WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE BECAUSE THERE IS A MONSTER IN THE CLOSET! Which is breathe, smile (Because a monster can't eat you if you're smiling. It's totally a rule!) and tell myself that it isn't real and I need to CALM DOWN BEFORE I CRASH AND KILL A BUNCH OF PEOPLE! 

I guess crashing doesn't really apply if we're talking about the closet but I think you get my drift. 

And don't even get me started on what happens if I have to go out of my room at night and everything's dark because it's when you've turned off that last light and it's dark behind you and you're ALMOST safe in your room when THE MONSTER OF THE DARK WILL PULL YOU OUT OF YOUR DOORWAY BEFORE YOU SHUT THE DOOR AND EAT YOU!!!!

Welcome to my small corner of crazy and sweet dreams to all....

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Rough morning with Dale

This morning started off pretty normal, get Liam and Alex to school, get girls ready for school, walk them to school, drop Riley off at school and pick up the girls! All that was normal. When Dale was brought home by Ken everything seemed normal there as well (except Ken pointing out that I was a day off on the white board calender that we use as a 'check out' system so we can track where Dale is all the time.) 

Fast forward about a half hour and the girls are eating snack in the living room and I'm going through my emails and deleting the majority of them because WHY THE HELL DID I SIGN UP FOR THESE NEWSLETTERS/ADDS/ECT?! Anyways, I was in my room when I hear Dale's med alert neckless *tinkling* as he walks into my room.   

Me~ What's up Dale?

Dale~ I made a b-b-b-big me-mess

Me~ Oh yeah? That's ok! Where is the mess? I can help clean it up! *smile*

Dale~ I-i-i-i cou-cou-couln't cl-cl-cl-cl-cl-clean.... s-s-sort.... *starts crying*

Me~ Don't worry Dale, it's ok. That's why i'm here! So I can help! Show me the mess *smile*

I lead him into his room which wasn't easy because his balance was all of a sudden way off. I thought he meant his clothes needed to be sorted so we could wash them but it was his bed, it was all askew and he was trying to make it but couldn't figure out how to do it so he came and told me. Which is a good thing (him coming to me that is) but it's concerning as well. I'm keeping an eye on him now, I'm not sure if he should go out for his afternoon coffee with Ken. We'll see.

P.s. I stripped his bed and washed the sheets since Dale was so upset. I told him that a clean bed will make him feel better... but I have to think that maybe he's reaching a place in his disease where there isn't really anything I can do :(

P.s.s If you haven't read earlier posts Dale is Trevor's dad and he has early onset Alzheimer's.

Monday, October 3, 2011

And the devil spawn shall be called, Michael

Sooo This weekend was CRAZY!  We drove down to my home town of Paso Robles for my friend Tenaya's baby shower and wedding.  She's from Idaho these days so it was all planned from 4 different cities and 2 different states so it was amazing that everything came together so perfectly!  It was so beautiful and the happy couple was... well happy I guess :D  Also as an aside, I was the BEST best friend (that's for you Mikey if you ever read this.)  

I may do another post about Saturday but this post is about an event that occurred on Sunday.  We had stayed at my parents house with a dual purpose of visiting with them and my brother before he goes into basic training in Georgia next week.  And we are always broke so hotels are a smidge too fancy for us :)  

Anyway, back to Sunday...  We were getting ready to hit the road when I went outside to visit with my mom and dad who were in the backyard.   I noticed a cool looking plant in the corner of the patio and asked my mom about it.  She said that plant was named Hitler-Stalin-Mussolini and that she hated it cause it attacks her every time she's over there either plugging something in or watering the 'damn thing.'  Which is lucky she even waters it!  "It even spawns!"  she said.  I was giggling the whole time she was talking about how they got it from a friend in Arizona and it survived the 11 hour motorcycle ride home and how evil it is. 

Btw my dad is just smiling as my mom goes on. 

Anyway she then says that she aborted it's devil spawn.  My dad chimes in to say that he saved the aborted devil spawn and planted it in a far corner of the yard.  My mom gave him a dirty look as I giggle.  The whole thing was very funny. 

I had already asked and received cuttings from a succulent my mom has thriving in her yard so I asked for the new devil spawn that had sprouted from Hitler-Stalin-Mussolini that she was also going to 'abort'.  So mom went into the garage for her 'abortion tool' which turns out is a flat head screw driver.  (I thought it was going to be a wire coat hanger and a tampon but tomato/potato)  After she got the sprout, aka devil spawn, out she put it in the pot with the other cuttings and dubbed him Michael.  

So that's how I ended up with the devil spawn plant named Michael :)

Michael is the pointy one in the bottom center of the pot